Put this one in my drafts March 22 and did not publish. Was feeling very challenged and wasn’t sure it would be helpful to anyone. After re reading today decided it may help someone so sending it out with some additional thoughts added at the end.
Greetings and Good Morning Everyone,
Even though I know this pandemic will move through and be over at some point, I am feeling sad and isolated this morning. I thrive on being around people. This whole social distancing thing is really taking a toll. Not to be able to touch another’s hand or hug my friends who I love dearly just makes me sad. It’s not a normal condition for the human condition. We have the internet and all the social channels and they are helping but they are just not the same. And I miss this most basic human gift. To touch and to show affection to friends and family.
The anniversary of my Mother’s death was yesterday and I’m feeling that too. I always do and it’s now been 12 years. As many of you know my Mom’s passing was due to Alzheimers Disease. While I lost her a piece at a time, I still had her with me in a physical way. During the 6 years I walked the road to her passing with her I learned how important it was just to hold someone’s hand. To walk beside them and hold her hand was the greatest gift I could have received. I could not communicate with her the way we used to but I could hold her hand and feel that ball of loving energy grow and expand in our palms and I knew we were not lost from one another and would never truly lose this connection even after she was no longer in the physical.
I learned after she passed just how strong our connection was. As soon as she left she came into my dreams and talked to me. She told me so much about my family dynamics that helped me heal in ways I could not have had she not done that. She came to me the night after she passed and held me as I cried. I sat on her antique couch and hugged my legs and I felt her come in behind me and wrap her arms around me and hold me as I released so much pain and sorrow and loss.
When I moved to Knoxville within months of her passing by myself to start over in a new place with just me and two kitties she was with me every step of the way. Looking out for me and making sure I was taken care of. I had been moving around from place to place in order to make sure she was taken care of for 15 months. In essence I was kind of homeless as I did not have a permanent place to live for that time. She was with me as I looked at houses to buy in Knoxville and orchestrated purchasing my new home on my birthday July 3rd in 2008. I lived in that home for the next 9 years and was grateful. I had not lived in any place that long since I was a child. It was her gift to me and I thanked God and my Mom every day for it.
My Mom was also instrumental in my diving into this healing work that is now my passion and my soul’s purpose. When I did my first deep dive to help another cleanse I was afraid. Afraid of what I was opening myself up to because I had never done it. As I was preparing to do it for the first time I felt and “saw” her come in and place her back to mine and cross her arms. And I knew that they (whoever meant to do me harm in any way) would have to go through her to get to me, so I did that first deep dive and I’ve been diving down the rabbit hole ever since. With no end in sight.
Even with all of these wonderful connections I have with my Mom I still to this day miss holding her hand. Kissing her face. Holding her in my arms and laughing with her over something silly we shared and thought was funny. Even with all of these wonderful psychic gifts I have been given and continue to work on and expand I still miss her physical presence. That is what we experience being in the physical world. This physical separation from those that have gone on before us. We miss touching and being with in this physical way. So this morning I’m feeling not only this physical distance from people I love that are no longer in the physical, I’m missing the physical connection with those I love that are still in the physical. And I know that I am not the only one feeling this.
When this current storm blows through, and it will, we will resume and reconnect in our physical ways again. We will be able to touch one another and be in the company of many others once again. We will have leaned a new appreciation of this most basic human need. We will not take it for granted if we did before this pandemic happened. We will have learned new and greater ways to do this using the technological tools we are blessed to have in this now.
This truly is a very small place. No one person or country is really an island unto themselves. While you are staying home and away from gatherings, I encourage you to try some of the wonderful ways to connect online. Send a text. Use Zoom Meetings. Reach out on Facebook. Skype. Whatever it takes…..
I ecourage you to call 1 person a day and chat with them. Actually write a note or card and drop it in the mail. Seriously, when was the last time you did that? And when was the last time you got a card or letter from a friend or loved one and how did that make you feel? I got a thank you note in my mailbox yesterday and you would have thought it was the first time that ever happened to me. I skipped all the way back to my front door, burst in and shared it with my Dog Shadow. Some of my neighbors think I’m a little nutty but at least they smile at my antics… Really made my day (thank you Brend C!).
Be assured that whatever you do to connect with another will be most helpful. To the person you reach out to as well as yourself. It is in our basic human nature to do these things. So do it:) Be the person that uplifts another. Be the person that reaches out and brings some sunshine to brighten another’s day. Leave some love in that big, beautiful energetic wake behind you for the next person that comes along.